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Thursday, August 18, 2011

Chirp, chirp

I know, I know...crickets is all you get around here.  Sorry!  Here's a bullet point list of ramblings just to actually keep the cobwebs at bay.

  1. I have been working on the basement for one hundred years weeks now, and it just never seems to get "done".  I'm feeling a HUGE amount of pressure though because our school starts on Monday whether I'm "done" or not.
  2. We are doing a co-op for the first time ever in our homeschooling journey.  I am totally on board with the idea, but it makes planning really hard, as the co-op is new to us all and until they get going, I'm not sure anyone knows exactly what we need to cover at home vs. what will be done "in class".  And since I abhor planning, but recognize it is a necessary evil, I'm a little stressed out about that.
  3. I don't really get stressed out about least not compared to my past...but the other day things really were weighing on me and my son picked up on it and said "Streeeessss", just like his Godmother used to say (but she lives in NC, and he never sees her, so he wouldn't know that).  It made me smile.
  4. All the local schools start on Monday, and I STILL have no idea what I'm doing with my oldest child.  He went to school in February because it was either that or one of us was not going to live to see summer.  I had assummed he would go back SOMEwhere this fall, but he says he wants to come home.  I've spent weeks talking to God about the fact that I cried that he was leaving my home, and now I'm kicking and screaming about him coming back.   I have NO peace about any of my choices, and my greatest hope was dashed this week when we met with the school administrator and found out that the 8th grade year is VERY cursive essay intensive.  And let me stress again the VERY.  Yeah, and my son doesn't write in cursive...nor does he willingly write essays or even short answer questions.  So even though I wanted to still cling to that hope, my husband listened to me explain it and said, "Well, that's just not the place for him then."  It sounds so simple when he says it...but then he's not the one who has to deal with said child when he's off the chain crazy.
  5. The same child is on meds now.  The first one is an anti-seizure drug to help control his moods.  Since he hasn't grabbed a knife and threatened to kill us since mid-June, I'd say it's helping, but he's still not moderated enough (he still VERBALLY makes threats-we just haven't had the physical follow-up for a while).  So now we are trying another drug with the first one.  It's only day 2 of that, so we will see if it helps.  IF all that works, maybe him being home again would work...if only there was a magic pill for compliance and obedience.  I'd pay almost anything for that one.  As it is, the first drug was $182 for a ONE MONTH supply, and apparently this second one is not cheap either (the Dr. had a coupon for a free 1 month supply, so we haven't had to buy it yet).  God totally met our need for the first drug though.  I had googled it online and came up with a dozen or so sites offering discount cards/prices for that drug.  I clicked on one, and as I entered my address, etc., I thought, It would be just my luck that this is a SCAM to phish my info and I'll wake up tomorrow to find my identity stolen and checking account empty...and my husband the computer dude will KILL me.   But I still did it anyway, and said a prayer that God would keep this from being a BAD thing.  Well, the card came, I slipped in in my wallet, and thought nothing of it.  I almost forgot about it, but couldn't find my insurance card when I dropped off the next month's script (drugs like these are one month supply at a time drugs) and stumbled upon the discount card in my wallet.  The girl at the counter scoffed and said typically they save you about $10.  I said $10 off $182 was good for me, so she ran it.  Then she looked at me and said, "This is a really good card."  I said, "How good."  She said, "Like $28 for the WHOLE perscription good."  Ummm Hmmm, God is good.  ALL THE TIME.
  6. Have I mentioned it is leaking in our basement every time it rains...right where the desks are supposed to go?  The Hubs has patched the cement, and used expanding foam in the cracks, and caulked the cracks...and still a small trickle.  SOOOO, more patching this weekend, and more waiting not so patiently to put the desks in place.
  7. My back is KILLING me.  Really.  Like I could cry it hurts so bad.  Gotta love auto-immune things.  I know God can work all things for good, but I'm not feeling it physically right now.  So I'll just keep smiling on the outside, and whine for a second here on my blog ;-).
  8. From the "bad mom" files:  I actually told my youngest daughter that I couldn't be her mom for one more minute tonight.  Do you ever get like that?  Like, You must go to bed...NOW....or better still, 5 minutes ago...because I just can't be the Mamma anymore.  It reminded me of a certain not really for children's book whose title I can't even mention here.  Some girlfriends and I saw it in a bookstore, and laughed and laughed as we read it.  Sometimes you just feel that way.  Of course, I felt HORRIBLE about 2 seconds after I told my sweet girl to not talk to me for the rest of the night.  But on the plus side, she did finally pass out (on MY bed).
  9. I really should be downstairs painting...but it's staying a constant 89 degrees down there and I just don't wanna go!  I know there is a deadly drought in Africa...I know people are starving around the world...I know there are WAY worse things...but I dont' know how I'm going to homeschool 4 kids in a basement with no windows and no AC when it is 89 degrees down there all the time.  And before you say "fans" stop and think about's very hard to do anything PAPER related when fans are whirling.  Not to mention impossible to hear...hey!  I may be on to something...maybe I won't be able to hear the large boy argue if the fans are going...
  10. Anyway, I'm off to reluctantly paint another coat on the conduit that my husband installed AFTER I painted the walls.  Of course, since said conduit gives me power outlets on 2 walls that didn't have them before, I really should not complain.  It's just that after painting hundreds of sq ft, I'm good with not touching another paint brush for a while.
  11. I HATE IT when spell check isn't working.  Just. Sayin'.  Excuse any typos that I might have missed!
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Melissa said...

Did someone mention a compliance/obedience pill.....where do I get them?

Mrs. Taffy said...

You are just so terrific! I always enjoy your honesty and humor!

I totally understand the "can't be your momma" anymore thing! I have one child in particular who makes me feel that way often (less often since he's taking cod liver oil regularly) this is why they all go to bed at 7. It's not because I don't love my children, it's because I need a "being the Momma" break! I let my teens stay up later, but they don't ask the same questions and require the same attention as the younger ones do.

Hang in there, God sees you and He's with you and He's working things out for your good. He knows the answers to your questions, keep listening!

Blessings on your back-to-school week! :)

Our Village is a Little Different said...

It sounds like things have been a little rough! Maybe the routine of the school year will help a little bit. I don't know of any magic compliance pill.. but it would be nice, wouldn't it? I had the opportunity to review the Total Transformation Program this summer, and I thought it was really great and their website, Empowering Parents is full of great ideas, too.
Happy back to school week.
I'm stopping by from the TOS crew blog hop. thanks for linking up! I already follow your blog.

Jennifer said...

For someone who doesn't get stressed much, it sounds like you have a lot of stress on your plate. I'm praying for you my friend, that this school year is productive. Obviously your kiddos know they are loved. We did a similar prescription card for my Dad's medicine and it made a huge difference. My little free plastic card looks like it never expires. I pray that the new medicine works and you have a similar discount.

April said...

I pray it will all untangle soon. Co-ops and kids who don't go to sleep are two of my least favorite things. Only preceded I think by kids who try to surprise me with breakfast made on weekends. . .
Sounds like your "venting" is much-deserved. Give yourself a little slack!
(and I am totally out of your situation, but might some kind of computer school/online option help with your oldest? That was a magic pill for us, for some reason.)