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Thursday, January 22, 2009

A first of many...

We went to the CC Pastor's Conference this week, and it was great. The kids LOVED the childcare programs, and even Sari went willingly into her class, which was an answer to prayer. In fact, she didn't want to go home, and said she likes that church and wants to go THERE, LOL. The volunteers who worked with the kids really showed the love of Christ, and the kids soaked it up.
But...
We encountered what will probably be the first of many challenges with Sari's name. Those of you who know us know Sari isn't her real name. She has one of the double first names...like Mary Jane...that always leaves people feeling unsure whether you really mean Mary Jane or whether Mary is close enough. I can totally relate. I feel the same way. Especially when the names are, well, odd. And seemingly don't go together. I mean, Mary Jane is acceptable; old fashioned and sweet. But if someone introduces their daughter as Justine Elizabeth, you know your first gut reaction is to assume that the name she is called by is Justine, and not Justine Elizabeth. Or Alexis Macaiah. Do you really call her that? And isn't one of those usually a BOY's name? But once you know the child, and get over that initial weird feeling, you realize that their name is their name, and it fits them.
Anyway, all I can say is that God gave me Sari's name. I mean that earnestly. I knew the moment that she was conceived that I was pregnant, it was a girl, and her name was to be the name she has. And neither name had every been a consideration for any of our other kids. It was a God thing.
So at the Pastor's Conference one of the wonderful teachers in her class just didn't get the double name thing and constantly referred to her by just the first name. Sari doesn't answer to that. Honestly, she doesn't even realize that people are talking to or about HER if they just use the first part of her name.
So there's the quandary. Do you correct the nice lady who keeps saying "Mary" to her instead of "Mary Jane" and writes "Mary" on her paperwork and belongings? Or do you just let it go since the other volunteers seem to get it and you are only there for a short time? For the record I did just let it go because I abhor awkward situations, but then I felt bad because I was perpetuating her ignorance. On the flip side, today someone introduced Mimi as Elizabeth, and I did correct them, and felt even worse because I abhor awkward situations and correcting another adult is one of those too.
So what to do?
Somehow I think I'm going to have lots of opportunities to figure it out over the next few years :-).
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8 comments:

Melissa said...

Glad you're home! I look forward to catching up with ya sometime over the weekend.

Randi Sue said...

I too have a double name. I learned to answer to the first one by itself. If it is someone I will know for a while, I tell them. If not, I just let it slide. Every one who knows me, calls me by both names.

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms said...

I know how awkward these situations can be...In fact, I have several family members who flat out refuse to call Anna Scott her given name...not only that, but they also told us that we were "trying to be difficult" when we gave her two. It was weird for us to have our authority (in a sense) challenged when it comes to something so personal as the namesake you feel led to call your little ones...and in those cases, that is clearly what it was...So, obviously, though we've made our preferences clear with these individuals, we don't get hung up on it, and Anna Scott has been called just Anna quite a number of times, from the very beginning...
but, I think for most part, people (not including those mentioned above), just don't get the double name thing or miss it, or have never been around someone w/ two names (it is somewhat of a Southern thing)...our practical ways of dealing with it (with ballet or Sunday school teachers, etc.) is to correct it the first time, then not to get hung up on it if it continues to get shortened. But, like I said, since she has been called only part of her name by some from the start, she doesn't mind and knows to answer to just Anna. Don't know if this helps any...but know that I can relate~

Julie said...

I always find it odd when someone calls Sari but just the first name, it makes ME want to correct them...I heard it recently.

I feel the same way when someone refers to Randi Sue as Randi. It doesn't even sound right.

Not to mention when someone calls Jonathan Jon, people can say Madi or Madison, Jake or Jacob and I don't even notice, but not Jon!

The verification word is "undis" like short for underwear!

Kris said...

This took a lot of trial and error on my part. The "grace" part of Anna Grace's name is there for a specific reason. But... it also became an issue because my child will not answer to Anna.

When I sign Anna Grace into a new place (like a school, etc) I always let the teacher or whoever know that Anna Grace won't respond if you just call her Anna. In situations where I see a person just call her Anna I do correct it but in a backhanded way. I usually choose the "apology" route. (I'm so sorry, she doesn't know you're speaking to her if you only say Anna.) I do this because I am a chicken.

I don't bother to correct someone we will only see for 5 minutes once a year (i.e. doctor's office staff) unless I can tell they are trying to do some sort of developmental screen.

Any and all teachers, I do inform or correct (using the "chicken" methods above). If there is an emergency and they are screaming "Anna lets go", this is going to cause difficulty. In addition, I figure it will be stressful enough to have a new teacher (even for a moment) but to have a new teacher who won't call you by name has gotta be even more stressful.

Leisa said...

Well I love names and call my kids by varying names depending on the day. Liv has the most variations, Olivia, Olivia Grace, Gracie, Livvy, or Livvy Grace??? Poor child, thankfully she answers to pretty much anything...

Maddy is Madeleine or Maddy, and sometimes pookiebear..... Please don't tell her I said that she will KILL me...

Ethan, well we named him Ethan Wyatt Palmer Freeman, hello !! So in the future I have plenty of options, but for now he is Eth, or Ethan..or Peepee as my sis has been calling him while he is potty training, but I don't want this to stick ;)


And they all will answer to each others names because I constantly confuse them, so if I am staring at you, and calling you your brothers name, there is a good chance I mean you..

Ok, so we call Sari, Sari. Is that ok? I never call her sarah, it is Sarah Grace, or Sari.

By the way I had to type vifiri, when are you going to ditch word verify????

DebiH. said...

I call all of my girls by two names!
I call Hannah, Hannah Beth and Abby, Abby Mae.
I don't expect or want anyone else to call them that. But Rachel Grace...that's her name..both words. I'm not sure why the difference in my mind. The correcting others question is the same about having someone refer to your baby as the wrong gender!! If I will never see the person again...I just smile and nod!

BeckyJoie at Leaders in Learning said...

I hear you on that one. I find people do what they remember to do and no matter what I tell them, they still call me what they remember to call me. It is tough sometimes because I get used to answering to the double name only. I do have some friends that call me Becky and others who call me Joie. I guess I've learned to adapt. She will too, as she gets older. You could always get a sticker name tag to put on in situations like that with her full double name. That is the reason I squeeze the BeckyJoie together so that it can be read as a double name. Oh, well. Anway, glad you enjoyed the CC conference. I miss those days. Been to many! Loved them.