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Sunday, July 29, 2007

I couldn't make this up if I wanted to...

So we drive to my husband's parents' house where we were staying for the reunion. Because we were not ready to leave when we had planned (imagine that :-)), we got there sometime between 9:30-10 PM. All 3 kids (Scott stayed at a friend's for the week-end and had a blast) were still wide awake when we got there. No more than 5 minutes after we walked in the door, my mil says, "Mimi, we need to wash those crocs tonight".

REALLY!

Then she took them into their utility room, filled the deepsink, and scrubbed Mimi's crocs.

First, I want to go on record saying they are dark fushia and they are not even 3 months old. As scruffy looking crocs go, these were pretty darn clean. But not clean ENOUGH!
That's the problem...15 years of marriage later, I still view her hang-ups as criticism of my abilities. Really, I know they are just the things that are important to her so she notices them and has to act on them, but I read, "D-i-l, can't you at least...(fill in with keep their shoes clean, scrub under their fingernails, etc)" into each of her obsessions so that they become about my failings and not her compulsions. She did admit the next day that shoes are a neurotic thing for her and that she used to clean my husband's and his sister's shoes when they went down for a nap EVERYDAY, and then again EVERYNIGHT before she went to bed. Hearing that made me feel better. I realize more and more that it is my interpretation, and not necessarily her behaviors, that cause some of the uncomfortableness I feel in our relationship. There you go, one therapy session down for just the price of gas and turnpike tolls.
I'm blessed my kids have a Nana who desires to be part of their lives, and wants the best for them. And I'm blessed that God is much more merciful and understanding of me than I will ever have the capacity for being with others, but His goodness constantly causes me to measure up, fall short, and then strive to be more.
more to come,
obm
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