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Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

SO much to little desire to expend the energy to do it.

Today had all the makings for a wonderful day...until I woke up. To my neighbors. Making a ridiculous amount of noise in the street at 7:15. That's a whole different blog...
Anyway, I decided it would be nice on this Thanksgiving to call each of my children in to the bed room and tell them WHY I was thankful for them.

I called Scott in first. I told him how much we had wanted a child, and how we had tried for 5 years, and God had graciously, finally, given us a baby, and that was him. And I LOVE him so much for being the one who made me a "mom". I also told him the Bible says to give thanks in ALL things, so I was even thankful for his Sensory Processing issues. I told him those issues have pushed his dad and I to be better parents, to seek Godly ways of discipline, and that his disorder keeps us on our knees. I told him how thankful I was for the blessing of his piano talent. And finally, how wonderful it was to see him as a big brother. Having had 3 kids in 4 years, he never got the "big brother" opportunities, but he is so wonderful with Sari.
He was sooo positively responsive, it was great....

Mimi came in and I did the same thing. I told her that I am thankful she has such a beautiful heart for the Lord. That she makes up her own praise songs that bring tears to my eyes. I'm thankful she;s talented with the pastels, and that she is also a good big sister. But most of all, I am thankful for her persistence. If she wants to learn something new, she just keeps at it over and over until she masters it. It is amazing to see.
She too responded warmly, and I thought it was a great foundation to the day.

(Then TJ and Sari slept until almost 9, and had to hit the ground running. Their face to face chat about the blessing they are to me will have to be done tomorrow.)

BUT, here's the thing...
In the movie Evan Almighty, they make the point that if you pray to God for patience, he gives you the opportunity to practice patience. If you pray for closer family time, He gives you opportunities to spend time together, etc. Well, I'm here to tell you if you pray thankfully for your son's sensory issues, they will FLARE UP full force, on this, the one day when his "normal" demeanor matters most.
Today was a nightmare. It was the kind of day that literally brings tears to your eyes and drops you to your knees. His anger and tongue were completely out of control and I just did NOT know what to do or what to say to make him "right". Add to that the fact that I was fighting a migraine all day, top it off with subtle digs by the in-laws about...well, you name it (MIL: "Well, we are ready to take the family picture, but Mimi needs clips in her hair. I wanted to brush it, but she said you had clips." SIL:"Well, you told them red shirts and jeans, and you got that, you didn't tell them to brush their hair." Me: (biting my tongue HARD at this moment) "Mimi's hair only looks brushed for about 20 minutes after you brush it, and you only do that when it is wet unless you want to rip her hair out...(as I walk away to get the barrette)") and you get one awful day. I can't even explain to you the depth of pain Scott's words cause, or the absolute feeling of helplessness in those situations, or the mortification at having to attend a family event with a "loose cannon". Thankfully, he did okay while we were there, but started up again on the way home so much so that I had to take a page from Jennie's parent-child contract and tell him he would lose the use of his bed and get a blanket to sleep on the floor with and would loose the right to sit at the table and have to eat on the floor if he could not stop being a destructive influence in the house.

When we got home, I had a small quantity of caffeine, took massive amounts of headache medicine, and Mimi and I went back out the door to a friend's bonfire gathering. Mimi and her friend had a great time, my headache eased, and I appreciated the chance to let all the events of the day go. I returned home better off than I was when I left it, which is good since all the kids were still up to greet me.

Please, please pray for us. Specifically that my son would not sin in his anger, that he would reign in his reckless words, and that he would hear the still soft voice of God in his trails. Pray for Godly wisdom for his father and I as we strive to help him while not losing it ourselves. Pray for my other kids, that they would not be tainted by the things they hear and actions they see.

Thank you!
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5Gustos said...

I have tears in my own eyes as I read this post. I absolutely love what you said to the 2 oldest. I can definitely empathize with you in your situation. I am so sorry your Thanksgiving dinner event did not go real well, but so glad that it turned out better later on. Certainly praying for your family. Again, thanks for sharing more of what "really" goes on. It is definitely an encouragement to me personally.

Lisa said...

I am praying for you all....for rest, encouragement and hope. Call me if you need anything!

Randi said...

Thanks for sharing. I am praying with you as we both walk on a similar road.