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Sunday, September 7, 2008

The preface to TJ's story

My kids' stories will be out of order age wise because I am bound by their order in how their birthdays fall during the year, so you'll have to wait 6 weeks for Mimi's. In a nut shell though, the infertility continued, and Mimi is also a clomid baby.
After Scott was born, we seriously evaluated how many children we would have, and 4 was really resonating with both of us (resonating not in a new-age-y way, but in a God inspired sort of way). When Mimi was born 27 1/2 months later, we still thought we'd have more children....but
But more and more it seemed like God was putting in front of us the idea of adoption. I mean, we had to use fertility drugs, and there were no guarantees that they would work, or that they would not work TOO WELL, and we already had 2 small children. And then there just were all these people who we knew who were adopting or articles in magazines about international adoption, or learning about adoption from the state system. It just seemed like everywhere we looked, the road was leading toward adoption. We even went so far as to begin the process of adopting from the state, and we'd look at pictures of these kids who were so young, so full of hope, but so worked-over by life already. And we thought if we were going to adopt one child who would clearly NOT be our child (most state kids are black or biracial, and our kids are all blond haired/blue eyed and white as white can get) we should probably adopt two so that it was more balanced and not like, please forgive what may seem like racial insensitivity, having one black sheep in the family. NOT that we would have been embarrassed by that, but thinking of the life of a child SO CLEARLY not our birth child amid these others who so clearly were...we just didn't want the child to always feel different.
So adoption became the plan. Kind of. I mean, we thought that was what we were meant to do, but we weren't SURE. We were even set to go to the annual picnic where potential adoptive families can meet available children. For reasons only God knows, as the date of the picnic approached, we encountered more and more hurdles, and that morning we decided NOT to go.
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1 comment:

Allison Leet said...

Dear One Blessed Mamma,

I can relate to your story on a number of levels - infertility challenges is one. Our story is different as our road did lead to international adoption of twins -- this was nine years ago. I beleive God meant for us to parent these children. I wanted to let you know about the organization that helped me all the way through and still supports our family and that is FRUA (Families of Russian and Ukranian Adoptions. If you find that international adoption from Easter Europe is the direction you and your husband you may find our website and organization helpful - great way to connect with many other parents similar to yourselves. Warm wishes, Another Blessed Mama (Allison) www.frua.org, outreach@frua.org