Gloom, Despair, and Agony
To continue the Hee-Haw theme...
Mimi and I went to Aquatica yesterday, and I will blog about that, but I just wanted to update everyone that I haven't spoken to about what happened.
After a full, fun day, Mimi decided she wanted to ride the one ride she had not done in the whole park. She was going to go alone, but decided at the last minute that she'd really like me to go, and I caved in and said yes. (I had done almost all the other ones with her, but this one involves going in a circle around and around like being flushed in a toilet, and I don't "do" circular movement well.) So we waited in line, got to the top, and went on our merry way.
In the "toilet bowl" part of the ride, my butt was dragging the bottom (you ride in a 2 person inter tube, and I was sitting a little lower than I would have liked), so I tried to shift my weight. Somehow as I pushed up with my hands, my left hand slipped and went into the water. My left hand is the one I had surgery on. All that would have been fine, but all of a sudden, my left middle finger caught IN something in the water (I still have no idea what) and snagged while the rest of my body remained in motion (darn those laws of inertia, LOL). I really felt like my finger had snapped in HALF, and it was excruciating. I pulled my hand out of the water, and there was about a 1 inch long and 1/4" deep indentation in my finger. That area was totally white, and numb to the touch. Worse, my thumb, and hand was hurting too.
When we got to the bottom, we got out, and I told the lifeguard what happened, and began a wild goose chase trying to find 1st aid. I got wrong directions 3 times. I still can't believe they made ME go there, instead of bringing someone to me.
Anyway, they gave me ice and took an accident report. My middle finger by then had turned severely bruised where it hit whatever it hit, and it was already swollen to about twice its normal width. But ice and an accident report were the extent of their help.
Today? Today I can't grip ANYTHING with my left hand...not a paper towel to rip it off the roll, not my shorts' zipper, not anything without pain. And my finger is still swollen, and my thumb and surrounding tissue aches randomly, and my wrist is swollen to a place only seen immediately past surgery. And mentally, I'm about as depressed as I can get. I am sure I have damaged some soft tissue (the injury was severe enough that it would have incapacitated my GOOD hand) and 2 months post-surgery, I'm sure that's about the WORST thing you can do. I don't know how therapy will go tomorrow, but I am sure I have taken about a million steps backward after 7 weeks of progress. The swelling has impaired the flexibility greatly.
I'm trying not to be glum...I'm getting over my pity party mentality, but I to be honest I am really discouraged and a tad scared about what damage has been done. I keep reminding myself to give it to God. I have to remind myself because I keep wrestling it back. I know He has not given us a spirit of fear, and I know it is what it is, nothing can change it now, and it will all work out in the end, but I'm impatient, and desperately wanting to reach a place in my recovery where the surgery has left me better off instead of worse than I was pre-surgery. I was finally getting there, then WHAM, this happens. And there's the whole knowledge that my insurance money for therapy runs out after another few sessions, and now I've messed it all up.
Okay, that's it...I'm moving on now...Time to get over myself :-).
until tomorrow,
obm
Mimi and I went to Aquatica yesterday, and I will blog about that, but I just wanted to update everyone that I haven't spoken to about what happened.
After a full, fun day, Mimi decided she wanted to ride the one ride she had not done in the whole park. She was going to go alone, but decided at the last minute that she'd really like me to go, and I caved in and said yes. (I had done almost all the other ones with her, but this one involves going in a circle around and around like being flushed in a toilet, and I don't "do" circular movement well.) So we waited in line, got to the top, and went on our merry way.
In the "toilet bowl" part of the ride, my butt was dragging the bottom (you ride in a 2 person inter tube, and I was sitting a little lower than I would have liked), so I tried to shift my weight. Somehow as I pushed up with my hands, my left hand slipped and went into the water. My left hand is the one I had surgery on. All that would have been fine, but all of a sudden, my left middle finger caught IN something in the water (I still have no idea what) and snagged while the rest of my body remained in motion (darn those laws of inertia, LOL). I really felt like my finger had snapped in HALF, and it was excruciating. I pulled my hand out of the water, and there was about a 1 inch long and 1/4" deep indentation in my finger. That area was totally white, and numb to the touch. Worse, my thumb, and hand was hurting too.
When we got to the bottom, we got out, and I told the lifeguard what happened, and began a wild goose chase trying to find 1st aid. I got wrong directions 3 times. I still can't believe they made ME go there, instead of bringing someone to me.
Anyway, they gave me ice and took an accident report. My middle finger by then had turned severely bruised where it hit whatever it hit, and it was already swollen to about twice its normal width. But ice and an accident report were the extent of their help.
Today? Today I can't grip ANYTHING with my left hand...not a paper towel to rip it off the roll, not my shorts' zipper, not anything without pain. And my finger is still swollen, and my thumb and surrounding tissue aches randomly, and my wrist is swollen to a place only seen immediately past surgery. And mentally, I'm about as depressed as I can get. I am sure I have damaged some soft tissue (the injury was severe enough that it would have incapacitated my GOOD hand) and 2 months post-surgery, I'm sure that's about the WORST thing you can do. I don't know how therapy will go tomorrow, but I am sure I have taken about a million steps backward after 7 weeks of progress. The swelling has impaired the flexibility greatly.
I'm trying not to be glum...I'm getting over my pity party mentality, but I to be honest I am really discouraged and a tad scared about what damage has been done. I keep reminding myself to give it to God. I have to remind myself because I keep wrestling it back. I know He has not given us a spirit of fear, and I know it is what it is, nothing can change it now, and it will all work out in the end, but I'm impatient, and desperately wanting to reach a place in my recovery where the surgery has left me better off instead of worse than I was pre-surgery. I was finally getting there, then WHAM, this happens. And there's the whole knowledge that my insurance money for therapy runs out after another few sessions, and now I've messed it all up.
Okay, that's it...I'm moving on now...Time to get over myself :-).
until tomorrow,
obm
Comments
I'm sorry this happened.